Creating a Happier Home During Your Divorce
By Lisa Matas
Divorce is one of the most painful and unsettling periods of time you will ever
experience. In fact, it is regarded as being in the top 3 most stressful events a person
faces during their lifetime. While it may be difficult to thrive in such negative
circumstances, there are proactive steps you can take in your home to create a more
balanced and nurturing space. With attention to simple details and awareness surrounding
the importance of environment, you and your children can experience a healthier, smoother
transition where you can embrace the future with renewed optimism and even excitement.
Though each person’s circumstances, situation and outlook is unique, there are common
threads of challenge that exist with those facing separation and divorce. Since our
physical surroundings are a reflection of our inner selves, our living space holds not
only our furniture, but the keys to our recovery and happiness. Take a look at your home
in the following areas, and give yourself permission to make positive change.
Declutter. This is a time to lighten your physical and emotional load and let go of things that no
longer support you. Clothes that don’t look fabulous, never-used wedding gifts, junk you
have let accumulate and things that don’t represent your new life have no place in your
evolving space. Since your transition may also mean downsizing into smaller space, fewer
belongings will be consistent with your simpler lifestyle. Don’t underestimate the
freedom and liberation involved in the de-cluttering process, and by all means, hire a
professional or helpful neighbor to assist if it is too difficult for you to face alone.
Symbolism and artwork. Remove photos that represent dysfunctional or unsupportive
relationships from the past, as well as artwork that is too dark or too abstract. Replace
with supportive photos of family, friends and happy times, and decorate with artwork that
is bright and uplifting. These powerful reminders are seen countless times each day, so
don’t underestimate the importance of how they program your subconscious mind and feed
Power position. By placing your bed, desk and sofa in the power position,
you will feel safer and empowered during a time where you may feel powerless. When lying
in bed, you want the wall behind you to serve as an anchor and you should see the doorway
without being in direct alignment with it. The same is true for the position of your
office desk and sofa. As humans, we simply feel better – literally and symbolically -
when we can anticipate and prepare.
Master bedroom. It is in our bedrooms that we seek refuge from the world, restore
ourselves, establish and maintain intimacy. Since the bedroom has been one of the most
intimate spaces you shared with your former, and you may be using the same furniture from
your marriage, there could be lingering “energy” patterns contained here that will keep
you stuck. Your mattress contains the most residual energy, so if at all possible, get
a new mattress, sheets and pillows. Consider repurposing your furniture pieces to another
part of the house, or at very least, change the hardware and repaint it. Remove photos
that represent your past. Use this space to learn to love yourself again, and treat
yourself to soft, comfortable textures, soothing wall color and lighting and candles that
burn with your favorite relaxing aroma. By changing the energy in this room, you’ll be
able to let the painful past go more easily and open yourself to new relationships when
the time is right.
Children’s room. Your children are coping with a new reality too, so pay particular
attention that their personal space brings them comfort and support in all ways possible.
The age of your children will dictate the changes you make, so take this into
consideration. Move their beds to the power position if not located there currently.
Add a nightlight or small lamp for added security. While you will not want pictures of
your former spouse in your personal space, having family pictures or a photo album on
display in their space will provide them feelings of love and reassurance. If their room
is overly bright and stimulating, repaint with a neutral or soothing color and use soft
linens to bring comfort. Electronics should be kept behind doors or covered if at all
Intention. Our conscious commitment to create the life we choose is based around the
power of positive intention. Use intention to create new thoughts and actions, and
write them down in present tense as though they were already happening. Place these
affirmations somewhere you’ll see them daily like your bathroom mirror or even a
Lisa Matas is Founder of Inside Out Coaching & Consulting, a practice dedicated to helping
women create home and work spaces they thrive in. She offers clutter and organizational
assistance, Feng Shui consulting, home staging and redesign throughout central Florida and
beyond. Lisa can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or for more information, visit
www.lisamatas.com or call 407.914.2599.