Yard work in August in Florida is not for the faint of heart. I found myself during this week’s round with the yard cursing a vine that seemingly grows 2 feet a week through our fence from the neighbor’s yard. It is my weekly quest to keep the jasmine growing on our side of this fence looking decent.
And now I have this vine coming into my territory from the neighbors yard. For you Floridians, it’s the weed vine that has orange pods and smells foul when you cut it. It will take over the pretty-smelling, pleasant-looking jasmine, if you allow it.
While sweat was dripping in my eye during my battle, I pondered the life lesson I could learn from this stink vine.
And here it is: There are some situations where try as we may to keep our side of the fence neat and pretty, the neglect and problems of those close to us will make their way to our side. It is in those times that we must resist the temptation to go over to “the other side of the fence” and weed out what only belongs to them to choose to maintain.
We can’t control their actions or lack thereof. However, we can choose how to deal with what is growing over onto our side.
In my case, I swore a little bit, and then started grabbing as much of that gross vine as I could, yanking it away from the fence and my jasmine. I put it with the rest of the yard waste for pick up. Next week I’ll do the same thing. Maybe I’ll try not to swear.
Are you divorcing your spouse and yet, because of certain reasons, still living together? Are you separated, but feel like your spouse’s “stuff” is taking away your peace of mind? Do you feel like you are desperately attempting to maintain a positive frame of mind or environment for your children and your spouse’s challenges are creating a struggle for you?
Do you feel like you have a stink vine invading your boundaries? You are not alone.
This type of scenario not only manifests in divorce, but all human relationships. I still struggle to keep the stuff of others from becoming the stuff of Kiki. Yoga, meditation and prayer, exercise, and believe it or not, working in the yard, are the tools I use to come back to myself.
These are the tools I use to eschew what I’ve unwittingly allowed to rob my joy.
Do you have such remedies in your tool belt? Are you finding healthy ways to maintain your “garden of well-being?”
If not, I encourage you to take this challenging time and use it as a springboard for your personal evolution. Find those wholesome activities that give you comfort or that make you feel alive. This may be in the form of finding a caring counselor, a self-enrichment class, or joining a support group for those with similar struggles.
During my divorce, I found a caring therapist and began my yoga journey. Without the blessing of that hard time, I would have never done the personal work that has led me to the happiness I have now.
My mantra this week: It may appear that Stink Vine is the perpetrator of my current distress. AND I know better than this because I choose my reaction to Stink Vine’s seeming disregard for my boundaries. AND I have the power to use this experience to hone the greatness of my soul and be a stronger, wiser person.
I bless this challenge and open myself to receiving guidance, wisdom, and help, knowing that I am always supported and powerfully protected by Spirit. And so it is.
Peace and love to all.
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