Tips for Successful Co-Parenting

 

Divorce is an emotionally charged event in anyoneís life but the stakes are much higher
when there are children involved. While it can be difficult to put aside raw and painful
emotions and act in the best interest of the children, you can and must do just that.
Below are a few tips that will help you focus energy on the importance of the task at
hand.

 

Dealing with the Ex-Spouse

The most difficult part of any divorce is dealing with your former spouse. You once had
very strong, loving feelings towards this person with whom thought you were going to spend
the rest of your life. You know each other so well that it adds another complicated layer
to the relationship. While it is completely understandable that you would have negative
emotions towards your ex, you need to shift towards a more child-focused, civil-type
relationship if you are going to effectively co-parent with that person. This means you
must separate your hurt and anger from the situation at hand. When you can do that, you
can rise above any manipulation or pettiness on their part.

 

The Children

The most important rule of co-parenting is to never force your children to choose between
you and your ex. Even though you may no longer love your former spouse, your children’s
love for mom or dad is still there. Never speak ill of the other parent in front of the
children. If you put them in the middle or force them to act as the messenger, you run the
risk of your children resenting you for placing them in the middle.

 

Another important rule of co-parenting is consistency between the two households. While
you do not have to do everything exactly the same it is important to have some consistency
in discipline and house rules. Knowing they can expect the same from both of you prevents
the children from trying to pit you against your former spouse.

 

If your children are not near enough for you to see them regularly, it is crucial to keep
contact with them on a regular basis. If they are old enough to have internet, video calls
on skype and google+ are great ways to stay connected when you can’t physically be with
them.

 

Blended Families

At some point, you or your former spouse may remarry, bringing step-parents and maybe even
step-siblings into the equation. If you are the one remarrying, it is important that you
give your children time to adjust to this new person. As much as you love your new spouse,
you cannot force your child to love them. Let them have the time to adjust and to warm up
to them.

 

Set aside a period of time where you and your biological children have alone time.
Children may see your new spouse and their step-siblings as stealing you away from them.
It is very important to let your child know that they are still an important part of your
life.

 

Navigating the stormy waters of co-parenting after a divorce is challenging but it is one
of the most important transitions that a parent can deal with. If you keep these tips in
mind, you can successfully navigate your way through and raise your children to be happy,
well-adjusted adults.

 
 
About the Author

Scott Morgan is a board certified Austin divorce lawyer who regularly blogs on the subject
of divorce and family law. You can read his blog at AustinDivorceSpecialist.com.